glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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