THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was like eating out sand paper
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
