white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
