Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
