Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
