I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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