but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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