I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
