if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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