I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
