i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
