Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
