Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
