new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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