I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
