the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize