I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
