SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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