Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
