Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
