it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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