In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
