I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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