She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
