I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
