i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
PANTIES FOUND
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