Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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