My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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