My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
