Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize