She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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