I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
