So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize