A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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