There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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