im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
