How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
