Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
