I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
