Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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