every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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