It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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