Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My vagina just clenched in fear
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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