Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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