not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
