I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
