omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
