you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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