last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
