i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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