the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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