just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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