I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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