a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My pussy is not your playground.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize