the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
pray to the hookup gods
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