god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
