Banned from zoo.
Again?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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