Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
