I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
