We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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