He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
