Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
