yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
