I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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