i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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