i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
