You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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