he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
