I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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