Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize