all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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